Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
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so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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