I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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