Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
