i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
