After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
