I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
COCAINE IS GR8
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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