Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
