woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
