we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
