On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
