you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
