I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
