I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize