Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
