my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
soo... how was my night?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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