what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
