Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
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So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
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No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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