I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
