she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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