Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
