I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
