If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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