real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
