no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
