Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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