Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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