So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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