im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
