so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
