Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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