he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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