i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
