Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Do vagina's smell?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
