im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
