dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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