She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
