i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
