i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
