just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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