It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Randomize
