he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
