Pappa wants mamma naked
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
