he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
