I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
