But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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