I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
