She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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