would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
