Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
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His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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