you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
