I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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