I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
