I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
