How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.