I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
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The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.