Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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