i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
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Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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