Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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