Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
