My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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