I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
