John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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