the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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