Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
