toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
