Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
