She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
