literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
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Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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